put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
