If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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