So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Someone signed my nipple.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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