You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
