Your face is a jimmy john
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just blew my weed a kiss
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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