I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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