Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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