Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
