i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
