your parents love me but you hate me
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
