Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
