Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Let's paint friendship bongs
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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