I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
