Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's like heaven, but drunker
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
