Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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