the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
