Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he puts the penis in happiness.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
