Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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