i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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