she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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