she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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