just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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