I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
