All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
