Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
