i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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