I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize