I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
