Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
