At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
