anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Success! We fucked roommates!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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