College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
