i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
