To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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