Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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