The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
third nipple confirmed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
