when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
