We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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