did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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