Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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