Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
