For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I AM VODKA MAN
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize