Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
