Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
