If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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