My liver just broke up with me...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
