dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
