Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
