i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
