I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
