That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
