I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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