I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
