their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize