Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
